Tuesday, March 22, 2011


Yes. I am writing today about procrastination, which in essence is like herpes. Because procrastination is like glitter. It sparkles and draws your attention away from the things you should really be focusing on, and when you get anywhere near it, it gets all over everything. And you can't get rid of it. It is a disease that spreads just by thinking about it.

And glitter is the herpes of the craft world. You touch it at all and it gets stuck on you. Then every time the sun comes out it's like: woah! Flare-up!

Procrastination is like that. And it doesn't have a simple cure. It takes an incredible amount of will power to overcome procrastination. More so than the will power it takes to get out of your nice, warm bed in the morning when you know it's below freezing outside. More so than resisting eating just one more piece of cake, or playing this game for just one more hour.

Procrastination is an addiction. So why don't they have procrastinators anonymous meetings? Well, you guessed it. No one could pick a day to have a meeting, so they just kept putting it off until "tomorrow". But we all know there is no such thing as "tomorrow". "Tomorrow" is just an abstract excuse we use to put things off that we know we should be doing today.

Procrastination is like a monster hiding under your bed. Every time you think you're going to have a great day, it jumps out and grabs you by the ankles and drags you down to the gulf of misery and endless woe. It sits perfectly still. Silent. Waiting. Waiting until you are at your most vulnerable. Much like zombies will do when they figure out about public restrooms.

It's the perfect predator. Irresistible. Seductive. Powerful. Overwhelming. And patient. Most importantly, patient. After all, it wouldn't be able to catch us on our busy days. So it waits until we have some down time, and then it convinces us to take a little more down time, and a little more. Pretty soon you're freaking out because you had all weekend to study for an exam and you didn't because you picked up an interesting book to read, or you were watching movies because someone said you just had to see this one and that one, or you just slept all day long.

Procrastination sucks. And no matter how many times you think you've defeated it, it always comes back to bite you in the ass when you're not looking for it.

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