Writing

So... a friend of mine posted a very simple blog entry. "Writer's Block: I hate it." And I have to agree with her completely. It's a little ridiculous, writer's block. Although, recently I have been able to avoid it since I started writing my serial killer novel. Maybe I'll actually finish this one. I have... about 25+ stories currently in the works. They're all in different stages of completion, but none of them have ever actually been finished. My problem is I know (most of the time) WHERE I want to go with the story, but I can't seem to find a way to GET there. You know? It's really quite frustrating. So I move on to another idea. Maybe I'll start posting them up here, you know, for the world to read. Maybe I won't. They really aren't all that good. Although, I am SUPER excited about the story I'm working on right now.

It goes a little something like this: Executive Officer (aka Chief of Police) Adrian Pierce has to track down and stop a psychotic Believer, who thinks that by sacrificing young girls he gains favor with the ancient Greek gods. And that is all I am going to reveal because the internet is not a secure place to put out all your creative ideas. Although I guess technically because it's in writing, it now counts as my idea and I can sue anyone who steals it. A bit dramatic, no?

We may possibly be going star-gazing tonight because the weather has been so B-E-A-UTIFUL today! Also, I discovered they are remaking "The Three Musketeers" and the guy who plays Mr. Darcy from the Keira Knightly version of "Pride and Prejudice" is in it, along with that kid who played Percy Jackson. It looks interesting. And Jim Carrey is doing "Mr. Popper's Penguins" this year... not sure how I feel about that. I love the book, but we'll see how the movie turns out.

People who bring babies on planes... just UGH. I mean seriously, it's not fun for the baby and it's even worse for everyone around the baby. Planes are rather enclosed spaces, you know. So the baby is fine until take off. Then it turns into this:

So then the people around the baby on the plane turn into monsters:

In the end, I think it's just better if people leave babies off of planes. Otherwise lots of people will start sprouting horns and forked tongues and we'll have a monster epidemic on our hands instead of a zombie apocalypse.

This is the first post in which I decided to use weird pictures. I may or may not continue. They're kind of fun, actually.

Procrasination

Yes. I am writing today about procrastination, which in essence is like herpes. Because procrastination is like glitter. It sparkles and draws your attention away from the things you should really be focusing on, and when you get anywhere near it, it gets all over everything. And you can't get rid of it. It is a disease that spreads just by thinking about it.

And glitter is the herpes of the craft world. You touch it at all and it gets stuck on you. Then every time the sun comes out it's like: woah! Flare-up!

Procrastination is like that. And it doesn't have a simple cure. It takes an incredible amount of will power to overcome procrastination. More so than the will power it takes to get out of your nice, warm bed in the morning when you know it's below freezing outside. More so than resisting eating just one more piece of cake, or playing this game for just one more hour.

Procrastination is an addiction. So why don't they have procrastinators anonymous meetings? Well, you guessed it. No one could pick a day to have a meeting, so they just kept putting it off until "tomorrow". But we all know there is no such thing as "tomorrow". "Tomorrow" is just an abstract excuse we use to put things off that we know we should be doing today.

Procrastination is like a monster hiding under your bed. Every time you think you're going to have a great day, it jumps out and grabs you by the ankles and drags you down to the gulf of misery and endless woe. It sits perfectly still. Silent. Waiting. Waiting until you are at your most vulnerable. Much like zombies will do when they figure out about public restrooms.

It's the perfect predator. Irresistible. Seductive. Powerful. Overwhelming. And patient. Most importantly, patient. After all, it wouldn't be able to catch us on our busy days. So it waits until we have some down time, and then it convinces us to take a little more down time, and a little more. Pretty soon you're freaking out because you had all weekend to study for an exam and you didn't because you picked up an interesting book to read, or you were watching movies because someone said you just had to see this one and that one, or you just slept all day long.

Procrastination sucks. And no matter how many times you think you've defeated it, it always comes back to bite you in the ass when you're not looking for it.

Fathers... who knew right?

In case you didn't get that reference in my title, it's from "Tangled". That was a great movie. Anyway, I digress.

For some reason or another, my dad has been on my mind lately. I was just thinking about all the great battles of wit we have. All the hilarious things he says to me. Seriously, the man in a perfectly timed humor clock.

For example, when we saw "Taken" for the first time (Liam Neeson is AMAZING, by the way), my dad had this conversation with me as we left the theater.

Dad: Hey.

Me: Yeah?

Dad: If you ever to go Europe, don't get taken. I don't have any special skills to come save you.

Me: Oh gee thanks, Dad. I'll just have to ninja chop my own way out.

And then there was that time when I told him I was switching from a chemistry major to an english major.

Dad: So what are you switching to?

Me: English.

Dad: Why don't you get a useful degree?

Me: Don't even start with me, computer man!

Also, Dad likes to pretend he doesn't mind having me away at school. But I know better. When my brothers went back to school he gave them this speech:

Dad: Listen up. This is not your home anymore. You don't live here anymore. We don't want to see you every weekend. Neither to R and J. You will go to school and you will start your own life.

I didn't get one of those speeches. Just half-hearted attempts at humor as I finished moving all of my stuff into my dorm. And I get huge hugs every time I go home (which is more frequently than I'd care to admit). That's the great thing about going to school here: I'm far enough away to be on my own, but close enough to home to retreat there when I feel the need.

A while back, Mom got her knees replaced. She was doing physical therapy, and was a bit slower than she used to be due to the pain. Dad's encouragement went a little like this:

Mom: (Stood up to go get something from her room).

Dad: Wait, I'll time the race! Let me get my calendar out!

For those of you who don't get the joke, replace "calendar" with "stopwatch".

He's just an all-around funny guy. Dads usually are. But I like to think that even though it took me ten years to get a real relationship with mine, he's the best one out there. Lots little girls think that about their dads, I guess. I wouldn't trade mine for anything.

Heifer International

Alright, so we've all seen the Heifer International commercials, right? This is the one problem I have with their plan. This is purely satirical, for those of you who don't know me.

Someone donates their goat to a family. That family now has a way to provide for themselves through the milk, wool, and whatever (in the commercial, there are eggs involved, which I don't understand... goats don't lay eggs...). Okay, so then the goat has babies, right? And that nice family gives a baby goat to their neighbors. Well, now suddenly there's competition in the goat business! And those neighbors give a baby goat to their neighbors, and pretty soon everyone in town has a goat. Well, that's just going to drive milk and wool prices down, thus dropping everyone back into poverty making them eat their goats to survive.

I think Heifer International needs to rethink their advertising processes...

Those little moments

Do you ever realize how many "little" moments you have every day? You know, those precious seconds where you look around and realize that your life is great right then? Moments where you're holding a sleeping baby, or laughing with your friends. Moments that can instantly change your mood from sour to sweet. Those are the instants we need to remember. Those are the memories that can keep us going through our darkest times. Everyone needs to add a little sunshine to their life, and the best way to do that is to remember the moments.

Remember the moments that made you smile. Those precious hours you spent laughing so hard you cried. Those days where you spent hours staring up at clouds, at peace with your world. The tiny, seemingly insignificant "accidents" in your life, like receiving a smile from a stranger or a text from someone you were desperately hoping to hear from.

Remember the moments that made your heart race. Your first kiss. Your first big performance. The day you got that important email or letter. The first day of school. The first day on a new job. The list is endless.

Yesterday, I realized just how blessed I was with the friends I had. The hilarity that we experienced together first at BD's house, then at Arctic Circle, and finally here, at my home, cannot be expressed in words. Not after that moment has passed. But I can still remember the feeling. It is still inside of me, waiting for its next chance to burst forth.

I am also blessed with friends who will respect my beliefs, or lack thereof. K and I had a 2 hour discussion at 1 AM about the differences in how we saw the world. And it didn't affect our friendship. I still feel the same amount of love and respect for her as I did before. That is a true miracle, a pure gift that comes rarely in our lifetimes. My heart is overwhelmed with gratitude that I was blessed with such a friend.

Recently, I took upon myself a challenge. To write every day in my journal for a year. So far, I have completed 6 days of my challenge. I went 4 years without recording a single event in my life. And I will never recover those specific experiences. I will remember them vaguely, but I won't remember how I felt on the day I aced a math test or exactly what was running through my mind during that very black year of my life. This is why I have taken the challenge. I don't want to forget anything about my life- good or bad. Because the good will make me smile when I go back later on, and I can grow as a person from the bad that I experience. As long as I record it all on paper.

Treasure each and every moment. Life is not meant to be passed through. "There is really only one beginning and one ending to life; the rest is just a whole bunch of middle."

It's been a while

Wow. I haven't posted in forever! So today I was just thinking about how there's never enough time in the day to do everything you want to do. There's never enough time in your life to accomplish everything you want to accomplish. Unfortunately, this isn't something you can change just by wishing you could. If it were that simple, life wouldn't be worth living. You've got to live for the moment. Plan ahead, of course, because it's necessary. But when it all comes down to it; there is no such thing as tomorrow. There is only today. Because no matter how many "tomorrows" you plan for, they'll never come.
So go out and do the things you want to do today! Don't put off living your life just because there "isn't enough time". Really, if you budget your time right, you could have more spare time than you know what to do with. Go learn to play the guitar or the piano like you always wanted to. Read a book. Write a novel. Write a poem. Make up a dance to your favorite song. Go to the park. Jump off a swing. Learn how to dance the cha-cha. Everyone should write their own bucket lists. So write yours, and get started on crossing off everything you write. It will be a work-in-progress for your whole life. And it will be enriching.
I know what you're thinking. "She's seventeen! What does she know about any of this?" Well, I've got news for you. My heart is older than dirt. I've been to the depths of depression and back, and let me tell you it was NOT pretty or fun or helpful in any way. I've been to the peaks of happiness and tumbled the whole way down to some sense of normalcy. The only way to live your life is by your own rules, through your own wants. Like Mom always says, "You gotta learn to roll with the punches."
One of my favorite quotes of all time goes something like this; life isn't meant to be ended by you laying in a nice wooden box, dressed in your finest finery, and looking ready to go to a wedding. It's meant for you to slide in sideways, scraped, bruised, totally in disarray with a drink in one hand and a camera in the other, shouting "Woo! What a ride!"
Yes, I embellished it. But that's what I do. I am, after all, an aspiring author. But the point or the message, whatever you want to call it, is still the same. Don't waste your life wallowing in a pit of self-loathing and despair. "Every cloud has a silver lining." You just have to hunt for it sometimes.
Granted, there are times in your life where happiness is going to be all but unattainable. I have those days. Everyone has those days. But it's how you recover from those moments that counts. Don't let those darkened moments destroy the rest of your day, your week, your life, whatever! Just don't do it! It's not worth it. Life is meant to be lived, not complained about.
It's a hard lesson to learn, especially if you're stubborn like me. But trust me when I say that when you learn it, suddenly everything falls into place. Even when nothing goes "according to plan", it all works out. Maybe not the way you originally wanted it to, but sometimes it's better that way.
As the old adage says, "Expect the unexpected." There will be times when happiness will suddenly just tackle you from behind, without you knowing it was even there. But that's the great thing about happiness, you'll both laugh and you'll get back on your feet. Sure you'll be a little bruised or a little shaky from the adrenaline rush, but hey, take what you get and make the best out of it!
So, before I start sounding too repetitive, I'll wrap this up. Get off your ass and live your life. End of story. No, scratch that. Begin your story. Right now! And don't forget to write it down for the sake of posterity. With that, I bid you all adieu for now. I promise I'll try to be better about updating this page!